Emergency Room Fun

Well the past few days I’ve definitely been a Bay Rocket. Well, more like a cannon ball, really. On Tuesday I was woken with a banging on my bedroom door at around 6:30am with Bob mumbling something on the other side. I got up and said, “What?” and he didn’t repeat himself, so I walked out and called down to ask what was going on. He said, “Your mom is sick, feeling really dizzy, and she wants you.” So I ran down stairs to see what the matter was.

There was my mom, pale, sweating, rocking herself in the La-Z-Boy, and fanning herself with a magazine. She says, “I’m soaking wet, and I’m soooo dizzy.” So, I’m like, “Maybe you shouldn’t rock yourself if you’re dizzy.” and she says it’s worse when she stops. So then I like freaking out. What do I do? I ask, “Do you want me to call 911?” She says, “I don’t know anything right now.” So I run upstairs and get my cell and call Keith, but he’s asleep. So I had resolved to call 911 when my cell rings. It’s Keith. He says to call 911 or take her myself, but that she needs to get medical attention. I agree and hang up, run downstairs to check on my mom and then called 911. Bay Village Fire department paramedics seemed to take FOREVER as I stood by my mom, who was now throwing up in the garbage can next to the chair. They came in and did a bunch of nothing, and decided to take her to the hospital. What’s so freaking weird is that they said they couldn’t take her to St John’s which is right up the street. So, they cart her out to the ambulance and I collect my purse and hers, tell Bob to put on his oxygen (which he now needs), and head out the door.

The ambulance ride was sooo long, and we were only going to Fairview — about 10 minutes away. The paramedic says to me, “I wonder if they started work on the highway?” and I looked at him like… what the heck? My mom’s in the back, dizzy and throwing up, and he’s wondering about construction?! So I said, “Um… yeah, they did.” Idiot. He tries again to make small talk about allergies but I wasn’t interested.

So we get to the hospital finally and the one paramedic says I have to check my mom in, very coolly. It’s like my gosh, does no one understand that my mother is in the emergency room? I go to the area he tells me to and a woman directs me to a desk to sit at around the corner. I sit there for a few seconds when a lady comes from behind me and says, “Can I help you?” I said, “Yeah, my mom was just taken in there.” And motion to the emergency room. She says, “Oh! Great! Wonderful!” I’m like… blink blink … umm yeah, not so much. She says, “I just love when family members are here to check people in.” I give her a weak smile and nod.

I checked her in and they let me go back to see her. I walked into the room and was taken-aback by how horrible my mom looked. You know, they always make people green in cartoons and stuff when they’re sick, but my mom actually looked so pale she was greenish. Maybe it was the hospital lights, but ugh… it was heartbreaking. She was still throwing up, but it was really nothing but water because she’d been fasting since 8pm the night before for some blood work. They started an IV and then took some blood. They gave her a shot in her IV for nausea so she could take the dizziness pill. After that, a looooooong while later, they gave her 1 and ¼ more of a shot for the same reason. Then, after the doctor visited us 2 more times, she was given a pill for blood pressure, and another for dizziness.

This is the good part! I’m sitting there with no bra on, bleach stained shirt, and sweatpants. My hair was up (though I don’t remember putting it up) and I had on flip-flops. Not the prettiest sight, but I wasn’t hoping to look good… I was hoping to be dressed enough to get my mom in the ambulance and off to the hospital. So in walks a woman representing patient something-or-other and with her walks in Jennifer Richie. For those of you who don’t remember her (and I don’t expect you to) she was the pretty brunette cheerleader we went to school with! Oh yes, and she’s still pretty, and very well dressed. She didn’t recognize me at first so I thought I was off the hook when they left. Unfortunately they came back and voila, she recognized me. Oh well!

Best news is after an hour the dizziness pill started to work and she was diagnosed with severe vertigo but cautioned to see her doctor or return to Fairview for a better check-up. “Vertigo is a feeling that you or your surroundings are moving when there is no actual movement. The motion commonly is described as a feeling of spinning or whirling, but it can also include sensations of falling or tilting. Vertigo can cause nausea and vomiting. It may be difficult to walk or stand and you may lose your balance and fall.”

We got to check out, I called Van to pick us up and the freakin’ idiot took a messed up route through the metro parks! I mean come on! She was diagnosed with a dizziness thing and he’s taking the curviest swirliest route home? Hi, my name is Van and I’m partially retarded! I take jacked-up ways home when there’s a perfectly good highway a mile from the hospital!
So then we get home, and my mom takes a nap, Bob’s taking a nap, David’s taking a nap, the dog and cat are napping… yeah… I’m tired after going to bed at 3am and waking up at 6am being shot out of a cannon! After the realization that my mom’s alright sets in, I’m sitting on the couch trying to unwind and the phone rings. I run to pick it up so the rest of the house doesn’t wake up.

Me: Hello?
Derek: Aunt Jenny, hey, is Grandma there?

Immediately the conversation I had with my sister from the day before springs to my mind. She wanted money (again) from my parents. She called my mom her “banker” and said she needed a loan. Loan my foot. Over the years my sister has scammed my mother out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. No joke. She was calling because she claimed that she needed money to “pay this lady” or she wouldn’t get child support. Sounded fishy to me. She explained that Derek would call if she didn’t ask, so she was asking so he wouldn’t call.
Back to the conversation:

Me: Hey Derek, what’s up?
Derek: Nothin’, is Grandma there?
Me: Actually she was in the emergency room today and she napping. Is there a message I can give her?
Derek: When will she be up?
Me: I don’t know, she’s sleeping. She was in the hospital.
Derek: Oh. Well… when will she be up?
Me: I already said she’s sleeping, she has had a lot of medication and it made her sleepy.
Derek: Oh, ok… I’ll try again later then!
Me: Ok.

We hang up and I sigh. What a little brat! I say to my mother, who’s really not sleeping just yet, that it was the vet’s office. She clearly doesn’t buy it and I say, “Well I’m really tired… yeah… tired.” She closes her eyes and is out like a light. Poor thing. Not ten minutes later the phone rings again.

Derek: Hey, is Grandpa there?
Me: No he’s not. (another lie)
Derek: He’s not?
Now he’s making me mad because of his little condescending tone.
Me: No, he’s not.
Derek: Wow, where is he?
Me: Getting Grandma’s prescription with David.
Derek: Ohh… when will they be back?
Me: I don’t know.
Derek: Well, where did they go?
Me: I don’t know, I didn’t ask.
Derek: How far away is the pharmacy?
Me: I don’t know the mileage. What’s so important? Do you want me to leave Grandpa a message?
Derek: You don’t know the mileage?
Me: *silence*
Derek: I guess I’ll call back then.

So we hang up, I crawl upstairs and into my bed to try and get some sleep. Before I get fully into bed I call my sister and explain my parents money situation, which is that they don’t have $1400 lying around to give her scamming arse. After that, I call Keith and I’m chatting with him when the phone rings (I was on my cell) again. (20 minute time laps) I jump out of bed and sure enough, it’s the little arse hole.

Derek: Grandpa back yet?
Me: Nope.
Derek: No?!

Again with the condescending tone.

Me: Have you talked with your mom?
Derek: No, why?
Me: Is this about the money?
Derek: You’re not supposed to know about that.
Me: Well, I really think you should talk to your mom.

The portable phone dies; I shrug and roll over in bed expecting another call. When it does I take my time answering it.

Derek: What happened?
Me: Portable died.
Derek: Ahh… I thought you hung up on me.
Me: Nope.
Derek: So, is Grandpa there?
Me: No.
Derek: He’s not?
Me: Nope!
Derek: Ok, well… I’ll call back later.

We hang up and the phone rings 5 minutes later.

Derek (in a “disguised” voice): Is Bob there?
Me: No he’s not.
Derek (laughing): Come on! Are you lying to me?
Me: Yup.
Derek: Why can’t I speak to Grandpa?
Me: I think you need to speak to your mother.
Derek: I don’t want to talk to my mom, I want to talk to my Grandpa.
Me: Well, too bad. You can call all you’d like, sweetie, you’re not talking to Grandpa.
My sister obviously taught him how to attack the weakest link.
Derek (while I’m speaking): I’m gonna call tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day…
Me: That’s fine, I’ll be here!
Derek: You’re not their secretary!
Me: Yup, sure am. So whacha want?
Derek: No you’re not! Let me talk to Grandpa!
Me: Hun, maybe when you grow up you’ll understand…
Derek: Oh, WHAT-ever. *click*

That little crap hole can call all he wants… I’ll be waiting. Apparently he called my brother David and asked to talk to Bob, but my brother was also not impressed and read him the riot act. He asked, “Does it even register over there ANYWHERE that my MOTHER was in the E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y room today? Anyone?” To say the least, Derek hasn’t attempted to call since. At least not to my knowledge.

And that was my Tuesday from h-e-double hockey sticks.

Bob the Retard’s B-day

So lastnight was alright! My brother Van only said one stupid comment, and so I let it pass and all was well. We picked up Lisa which means we had a wicked funny ride on the way back home. We were talking about one of the girls Lisa saw that she hadn’t since for a couple years. Lisa said that she was really weird, and coming from Lisa you know the girl must be seriously messed up. Lisa said the girl said, “Lisa, I stuck my little finger up my cat’s ass hole.” and Lisa replied with, “Oh, poor kitty!” and she said that the girl then replied with, “I’m sorry God for doing that to Silvia!” to which Lisa said, “I think she needs help.” Now imagine driving down the road listening to this conversation your parents are having with your older step-sister. If I laugh, then Lisa will forever say the words “Ass hole” in front of me, so I have to keep a somewhat straight face. I started rubbing my lips to hide my smile… because, I’m sorry… it was mudder-feekin’ funny!! Oh man, there is NEVER a time Lisa’s with us that I don’t laugh. That girl is hilarious!

Bob didn’t take his medication and so wasn’t feeling well and went to bed.

My mom came busting into my room this morning, which really seems sort of odd given my age, and says, “Are you getting up?” Ugh. Church. I love Reverand Yost he’s funny, don’t get me wrong, and church for that matter… I just… can’t stand some of the people in it.

I got up this morning dreading the day before it really even began. As I got ready all I could think about was how I’d have to avoid one of the ladies at church. She’s one of those busy-body types who seems to have only one purpose in life…. and that’s getting into EVERYone elses business.

I’m standing there waiting for this seriously slow elderly lady to fish my parents’ names out of a list of letters they needed. The area the letters were in was a rather high traffic area, because it was directly across from Reverand Yost, as people were trying to get out of the main part of the church. So anyway, she holds up the entire line, including her husband who’s holding some heavy dishes, behind her to ask me, “Are you working?” Ok, in what world is that her business? I pretended I didn’t hear her and went back to watching the lady fish the letters out. So she says louder (as if the entire church waiting behind her can’t already hear it) “Jenny…I’m talking to you! ” I said, “Oh…. I wasn’t sure.” *sigh* and she says, “Where are you working?” So I laughed and pretended I was hard of hearing… she has to be used to that by now, right? Then she adds, “You’re not working at that department store again, are you?” I’m like, “No.” and so what if I was? What’s wrong about working at a department store?

She FINALLY passes to the relief of EVERYONE in the church and the lady then finds my letter. I said, “Lets GO.” to my mom and we headed out. I was SO angry. My mom tried to explain that Carol Arnold has always been like that, and I told her… she better not ask me again, or she won’t like my answer.

Oh a MUCH brighter note, a mommy robin has made her nest in the bushes by our front door. We’ve stopped using it so she won’t abandon her little eggies. There are three there, but I could only get a picture of two (after my mom scared the poor thing checking to see if the nest was there).

Baby robin pictures will follow once they hatch!

Bob the Retard

Happy Birthday, Bob.

Yes, Bob managed to call my mom “the help” today.
So his birthday message is a simple one:

More details about my torture later.


Today was the kind of day where I really wished I’d stayed in bed. Waking up was like I imagined waking up with a hang-over would be like (never having had one). My head felt like it’d been run over by a mac truck, and I just felt….heavy. My nose must have been draining back and down my throat because I felt so nauseous! I took 2 advil and decided to just live with whatever else I had to deal with, it could only get better, right? Um..no.

I went downstairs, made a cup of tea, and sat at the kitchen table for a few moments to collect my thoughts and try and cope with the pain and grossness I was feeling. My mom was SOOO awake. You know that kind of awake that “morning people” get? When you feel miserable, these people are your enemy. So I wandered back upstairs and sat down to chat on the phone, read emails, … little things. The phone rings and it’s the big b word. Yeah, Brenda. My brother Van’s fiance’. Bob’s birthday is tomorrow and she wanted to know what to get him. Well, I lied and told her my mom wasn’t home (mainly because my mom hates talking to her on the phone) and suggested a few things and got off the phone on the edge of sanity! She had mentioned wanting to see the movie “Monster-in-Law”.

So anyway, I go back down to talk with my mom about the call and my mom is acting kinda funny. After I tell her a few things she comes out with, “Sorry, I’m really upset.” and I ask why and she goes on to explain that Bob has done several things (I won’t go into detail) and she started crying. After comforting her my mind went back to that movie and I said we should go to it. Not wanting to make the big b cry when we told her we went, I called her up and invited her too.

I *finally* got the bracelets Keith sent in the mail!

Tresse supports our troops too!
(Don’t worry pet people, that only stayed on long enough to get the picture!)

He sent one for Meghan too! Don’t worry Meggers, it’s in a nice clean package, no dog hair/slobber included.

Then I had to be by my mother’s side the rest of the day. If I was gone for more than a few minutes she would call me and ask me to do her something. She was feeling especially needy, and I wanted to be there for her…. but it was draining.

After the movie (Monster-in-law) we picked up some things at the grocery store for Bob, since he made sure to make my mom feel guilty about going somewhere without him, and then dinner for all of us. We get home and my mom was unloading the car and I was inside dividing up the dinners from Wendy’s. Bob comes over for the salt shaker. Salt on a Wendy’s burger? How much does he need, for heaven’s sake? Does he want to crunch it!? And I say, “Nono, there’s enough salt on them, Bob!” and take the salt shaker away. He fights me for it eventually (play-like) and I gave up pretty easily. It’s his body, if he wants to have a stroke because he’s an idiot, … that’s his choice. Maybe I should get him a salt-lick for his birthday! So anyway, I say, “I can’t be nice to you tonight, Bob, cause tomorrow’s your birthday and I *have* to be nice to you then.” He says “Ohh… ok.” and laughs. Then my brother David pipes up with, “Welcome to *my* world, Bob.” and laughs. I was laughing on the outside, but it was stinging on the inside.

All my brothers freakin’ hate me. Keith always mentions all these “beatings” he had because of me. And he thinks anything I say is law with my parents. Van makes hurtful comments when I kid about being the favorite. David has a serious problem with the relationship my mom and I have. And I donno about Scott. — What the heck?

I know… lets kick Jenny while she’s down. Ok!

Spring is EVIL

Oh yes, Spring has most assuredly sprung. Not quite sure because it’s freezing outside? Just look at Jenny’s nose! It’s as red as rudolph’s! You know what that means, kiddies! Spring time! Yay!

Uuuuugh! Here’s why:

Example 1: See the budding, flowering trees? *sniffle*

Example 2: A closer look at the eeevilness. *snuffle-sniffle*

Example 3: Another example of the eeeeevil! *nose itch*

Example 4: See it? I bet your eyes are itching just looking at that pink frilliness!
I know mine are!

Example 5: Don’t let the delicate little white buds fool you. They’re EVIL!

Example 6: Aww… so pretty… yeah… and EVIL! *ahhh-choooo!*

These are just a few examples of why I feel like a mac truck hit me this morning when I got up! But atleast they’re purdy! Yeah… purdy evil.

The green pollen is EVERYwhere. Benadryl is my friend.

Shoot me.


My mom didn’t like the little fish. She wants her pond to be on (meaning the waterfall running) and the wee fishies can’t really handle the current, as David and I found out the day we put them in. There were about 8 to 10 of them stuck in the filter part swimming around. So she gave them all to David. Instead she wants new fish that are bigger. More power to her! I did my good deed for the month. It’s a good thing I got her a lilac bush as well.

One of the cuties in the pond

Anyway, I’ve been feeling so low lately. Like a complete and utter loser. My mom asked me to “work” for her and Bob, I think mostly to use me as her beckon call girl, but when my brother says things like, “…that’s why you’re sitting here jobless.” she doesn’t say anything to stick up for me. So screw that crap, I guess I’ll have to go on the great hunt for a job again.

I’m a loser.

I need a nap.

Brittney & Tylor

My brother Keith took a picture of Brittney and Tylor that I just love, so I had to post it. They were on their way to see me and my parents when I was visiting Florida. They started out kinda early-like, hence the pillows and coziness.

Doesn’t Tylor look EXACTLY like my brother?

Koi ‘O’ Rama

You know, I’ve been trying to make my mom’s day on Sunday a really really good one. She deserves a great mother’s day. I put a LOT of thought into what gift to get her. Unfortunately her koi last year died because we turned the pump off too soon and the leaves falling made sort of a sludge the poor fish just couldn’t survive in. I tried my best to get it cleaned up then, but it was a no go.

So, in a conversation with my mom I was talking about the pond and she said she was so sad that the fish had died. They were her friends. (Now I know where I get the whole giving animals feelings thing from.) She said it would be sad to look at the pond without any fish when they first came home.

I asked around and found a place that had little koi fish fairly cheap. I asked my brother when the pond would be fish-ready and he said it was already and that he could get it running in 10 minutes. So I told him I was getting my mom some koi, that I’d shopped around and these ones were fairly cheap and really nice looking.

So he says, “Get me some for her too.”
I’m like… ” *long pause* Ok.” Dude… think up your OWN gift!
So he then adds, “Get me 35 of them.” Umm…. 35!?
I said, “Dave, how are that many fish going to live in the pond? I’m giving her 10, so that’s 45 fish.”
He said, “Well 20 of them are just here until my pond at my house is cleaned right.”

So whatever… I go to the store, which is in Strongsville (not close!) and buy ALL of their fish. They only had 36 left. So I get back and we put them in the pond. You can’t even see the little buggers! They were 3 & 4″ers and they can just hide in there and stuff. Very cute when they’re swimming in their little schools.

Anyway, I was pretty disguntled that I had gotten her a present and my brother then got more and claimed it as his own, ya know? I put a lot of thought into that. Get your own brain, and maybe an original thought, and come up with a gift of your own!

So anyway, I was walking around Costco looking at plants and stuff when I saw this big table of lilacs. I remembered my mom was talking about wanting lilacs because they smell SOO good and they look so pretty! So I picked one out (dark purple – her favorite) and brought it home. My brother wasn’t due back for 2 days so I left it on the kitchen table and went to the movies. (All alone!) When I came back he was home. Grand. So he says, “Is that a lilac plant?” and I’m like, “Sure is!” and sighed.

Yesterday, he got her a rose plant. Mudder-feekin’ arse!

You know, I’m glad he’s getting her gifts, it’s that thought that counts but my gosh! At least try to think on your own!

Am I spazzing over nothing?

Wedding Bells!

Aww! I knew they were getting married soon, I just didn’t know the date.

Congratulations Rus & Deirdre Durbin!

April 22, 2005.

Aren’t they just the most adorable couple you ever did see? Not to mention little Mia who’s quite the cutie-pie all on her own. Congratulations, guys! I hope the very best for all three of you in your new lives together.

Now…. I feel old. *hip cracks*

Florida Condo & Cleaning

My parents arrive home tomorrow, and I’ve been busily trying to undo all the things my brother has done since they left. Mind you, he’s not completely at fault here, but I atleast have a routine of cleaning, and he cares about nothing but himself.

Why they’d want to leave Florida is beyond me. Here’s a few photos of their pretty condo. You can click on them to make them larger.

Front shot of the condo. Cute, isn’t it?

Entering the front door. This is the living room.

Living room from another angle.

My favorite spot in the whole house. The “lanai”.

Mom & Bob’s bedroom. They have a really HUGE bathroom, but I didn’t take a picture of it. Who wants to see a bathroom anyway? But it has a walk-in closet for mom, and a regular closet for Bob. *drool*

And a view of the lanai and pond from Mom & Bob’s bedroom.

The kitchen, obviously.

The guest bedroom. AKA Jen’s Room!

The garage. You have to oo and ahh at it because *I* scrubbed it.

ANYWAY, .. I can’t wait to see my mom. I know it’s only really been like a week or so, but I miss her. We have such a good time together.

I have a scape-goat for all the red carpet stain incidents. Joanis now spilled something in the living room, and Van spilled something in my mom’s room. Lets cross our fingers that these horrible lies take! I’m going to buy this red dye remover crap online and see if that doesn’t do the trick… but unfortunately I’ve run out of time to experiment before my mom gets home. So, yeah.. I’m gonna lie through my freakin’ teeth.

I’m the good one! The angel! Who wouldn’t believe me? Right? Here’s hoping.