Driving Like A Jerk – Session Two

It’s been far too long since I’ve written a D.L. a J. post, so I say it’s about time that I did. If you happen across this and want to read the first one click here.

As I sit here I can remember getting an email about being a jerk and laughing so hard I had to share it with my friend, Meghan. Meghan and I cracked up so much we decided to try one out. I can’t remember it exactly (it’s been a few years) but in the email it mentioned something about facing the back corner of an elevator and talking. Being the annoying silly girls that we were (and I still am, can’t say Meghan is I’ll let her say) I faced one corner, and Meghan the other, and we laughed as we talked to one another. There was a woman in there… possibly someone with her, but I remember the woman the most, who yelled at us as she got out. Of course, we thought it was funny… *shrug* Guess she thought we were jerks.

You see? I’ve always been a jerk.

So here are a few that others have contibuted, so here we go (sorry if I haven’t gotten to anyone that sent me some, but this won’t be the last!):

  • When someone behind you flashes their lights signalling for you to get over, to really tick them off, tap your break light for every flash given by their head lights. (Thanks, Keithy!)

    (the next five are from Princess Trix)

  • When the person behind you is tailing you make sure to slow down, keep driving slow until they get it through their thick skull to back off. When they back off, speed up to the speed limit. If they tail you again repeat as many times as needed.
  • Leave your turn signal on and never turn.
  • Leave your hazard lights on when there is no hazard.
  • When someone cuts in front of you on the highway and goes slow, take your time to get back at them or they will catch on. Simply pass at your next convenience and get in front of them and drive 5mph slower than they did to you.
  • If someone should feel the need to flick you off or gesture rudely wave and smile. If they continue, point at them and talk to your passenger while laughing.
  • I hope this one is enjoyed as much as the last one was, and remember, if you have one of your own you’d like to send, please email it to me, jerk.