As I looked over my recent posts I realized, my goodness, I look bitter. I’m really not a bitter, angry person but I do tend to concentrate a little too much on the way people treat me (especially if it’s negative) especially when I have some free time to think about it. Unfortunately I’m not one of those people who can just simply let the remarks of close family members and friends slide off my back. On the other hand, those on the outer limits of my closely connected relations I could care less about. If a total stranger said the things my brother said, or Bob, etc I would just shrug my shoulders and mark it up as another lunatic or jerk.
While I do have problems with family, and this is a personal journal I have to remember that life is too dern short to concentrate on the bad parts. Right? Right. So while I pile up the Kleenexes due to my allergy attacks (thank you humidity!) I’ll pass along some of the really funny things that I’ve stumbled across lately.
First, I’d like everyone to check out my link list. There have been a few new links added in there that are sure to tickle your funny bone. You have to check out Keith’s new blog Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze? He’s got a killer sense of humor, but don’t take my word for it. Get on over there and read, you’ll chortle along with me I just know it.
Second, in my daily morning reads (aside from my ex’s emails *snort*) is another blogger named Brad at Blogg’d. Brad’s witty reviews of bloggers always leaves me in stitches. His sense of humor is something along the lines of what I’m like when I’m sitting with someone and people watching , if you get what I’m saying, only he’s doing it with blogs. Those he review tend to take his smiting them a little too seriously, but that’s what makes it so funny! I’m sure you’d like it if you read it, so get to it! Through his comments I found some of my newer links, so check ’em out!
Another is Ingrown Brain Stem by copygodd. While his picture is a little disturbing, he does have funny rantings where I found this. I absolutely love Triumph, he always makes me laugh so definitely watch that, I know you’ll laugh too. Don’t forget to pop on over to that blog too, he does a much better job with the sarcastic humor than I can. at least with written words.
There has been some dern funny story telling on Jerkface‘s blog. He really sounds like he’s had as many odd experiences as I’ve had. Then again, who could have as many as me? Ha! Not possible.
Lastly, I’d like to finish with a little history about me. Now you might mistake this for my being bitter, but really… I have a much better sense of humor than all that! I laugh on a regular basis about…. well just about everything, but most especially myself.
I’ve always had a baby face, it’s a blessing some say, but a curse to me. When you’re 27, soon to be 28, you don’t want to look like you’re 16 or on my good days 18. Now, some of you might disagree, but here’s where I prove that looking younger really mudder-feekin’ sucks.
When you’re a teenager, adult type people tend to take you far less seriously than, say, if you’re 28. Do you remember the disapproving looks? The eye rolling? Being ignored by a salesperson because she figures her older customer can afford a $300 purchase, and you, a teenager can’t? Well then, you’re just beginning to see into my world.
Now, mind you, I know some day I’ll be counting my blessings instead of my wrinkles, but in the mean time it’s very frustrating to have some experience and knowledge and never get to assert it because I look like a baby.
While standing behind the table at the church’s coffee hour, a woman approaches me to ask, “Did you make these, honey?” I smiled and nodded. “Yes, me and Costco.” She had a puzzled look on her face so I then explained, “They’re from Costco, I bought them.” She nodded with a smile, “Ahh…” only to ask me 3 more times where I learned to bake them. She then tried to boost my brownie points with my mother by saying, “I saw Jenny here at church quite a few times while her…” she looks to me nodding, “… grandma was in Florida.” My polite nodding turned into a stare of utter disbelief. My mother, who is a grandmother but certainly doesn’t look like mine, gave the same blank stare. EVERYONE in that church knows she’s my mother. We look EXACTLY alike, for heaven sake. Idiot.
Another would be on the road headed to the movie theater for a night out with the girls when a car pulls out of a street right directly in front of me. I swerved and honked my horn, but the idiot just kept on going. As I pried my mother’s nails out of my forearm she said, “Honk your horn again!” So I did. The woman moved onto another side street and parked her car. She got out and came to the window saying in a breathy, air headed tone, “Did I hit you?” Now… where on freakin’ earth did she think she wouldn’t feel her little compact car collide with the JEEP? Then she looks all sad and says, “Oh, and you’re a new driver too.” Did she have a death wish? I think so. Needless to say, her airy-like behavior took all the wind out of my sails, and as she left to get back into her car I turned to my mother and said, “Not a freakin’ word about the ‘new driver’ comment! And she took away my right to swear at her!”
This world is full of freaks, and I’m sorry to say, I’m a freak magnet. On the plus side, I do have good stories to tell. Annd… if I really have to look at the bright side to my looking young… I’d say… I get away with a heck of a lot when I feel like being immature. (And that’s pretty much always.)