Psycho Part II

Have you ever been utterly amazed by another human being? Like, you think you’ve heard it all, and then someone just… does something utter astounding? Well, I had one of those experiences today.

My sister, as I’ve said lately, has totally and utterly lost it. Her desperation has reached a whole new level, and we all know what deperate times calls for. I mean, this one will floor you!

I was napping, and I’ve come to realize that if I’m tired and need a nap, something crappy will happen. The phone rings and I jump to get it, as I usually do, and I hear what sounds like an old lady on the phone.

Old Lady: Hi, is Ellie there?
Me: Can I ask who’s speaking?
Old Lady: This is Stormy . Derek told me to call.

Short detail: Stormy is Dereks girlfriend in Iowa, not an old lady. Sad how even she has been wrangled into this crap. And yes, her real name is Stormy. Her sister is Hailey, and she has a few other siblings named after weather. It’s Iowa, what do you expect?

Me: Oh, hi Stormy. My mom’s not here, can I give her a message?
Stormy: Well, Derek told me to call because Kim had a heart attack.
Me: (not really buying it) She did? When?
Stormy: Two days ago.

Two days ago she called here in the morning.

Me: What hospital is she in?
Stormy: We’re checking her out now, it’s Elsworth Municiple Hospital.

I scrambled to write that down.

Me: And she had a heart attack?
Stormy: (real sad now) Yeah, we’re checking her out now. She wants her mom to call her tonight.
Me: Ok, I’ll give her the message.
Stormy: Ok, thanks. *snuffle*

Immediately after hanging up, I *69’ed the number. Unfortunately the cable was out, so I made a call while I figured out what was going on with the cable to Keith. He looked up the number for me and sure enough, it was for Elsworth Municiple Hospital. Well crap! But then I started thinking, why wouldn’t Kim have called? Or Derek! I mean, especially if this was 2 days ago. So, I call lovely Elsworth Municiple Hospital. Remember, the entire town consists of about 380 people, so we’re not talking Johns Hopkins here. The nurse that answered was very nice and full of information.

I asked if Kim Leski/Alton was listed as a patient. She said there wasn’t. I asked, if she’d been checked out, or was checking out would she be listed? She said she wouldn’t be. Well dern. She then explained if she was there that all she could tell me was that she was there, not any details. I thanked her for the information and hung up. After a moment I remembered something and called back. I asked, “If someone had a heart attack 2 days ago, would she be checking out now?” The nurse said, very emphatically, that she would not already be checking out. Then as I thanked her she said, “And I was working on Saturday and I don’t remember anyone named Kim coming in.”

That’s right. My very loving sister PRETENDED to have had a HEART ATTACK to get $1400 off my parents.

All I have to say to that is a very good quote from the movie ‘As Good As It Gets’. Sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all full up here.