Jury Duty – Part Two

Alright, so I talked about the whole being a juror thing and that was obviously a snorefest. Now for the funny parts, and believe me there were quite a few… but even they are a bit boring. My apologies.

The first day, as I said before, I got on a jury pretty quickly. I was picked at 3:15… and I know this because I remember looking at the clock and thinking, “If I don’t get picked I can leave in 15 minutes!” and being excited. So the judge announced my name, to my dismay, and the trial began really quickly. Immediately I noticed just how theatrical the prosecuting attorney was. His facial reactions were so hilarious there were times I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at him. Not to mention it looked like some blind child cut his hair, or maybe someone angry at him, because there were visible clumps missing and stuff. I realize now that the facial reactions were probably part of his stradegy, and it worked. Infact at one point I remember looking over at him angrily scribbling something on a peice of paper, and then his face went back to happy and he put paper clips on each one of his finger tips. Yeah, and I think he was on a caffiene buzz because the guy could not sit still.

The defendant was incredibly happy. He kept watch of all of us, and when we would smile at something said, he would smile at us and with us, but he always had a smile on his face. No matter when I looked over, he was smiling and watching. I just thought he was a smiley kind of person until one of the other jurors mentioned she thought he looked like he memorizing her face, and then the smiling wasn’t so good. That’s probably when good turned to creepy. I started to think about it and it didn’t really add up. The dude was there for 4 drug charges and he was happy about it? Makes no sense at all.

Now for the other jurors. Thankfully there was one guy that was at my table when I’d first sat down in the juror lounge that was also picked, so I had a familiar face, and someone to talk to. When we first went up the room was so quiet that it was like a library or even worse, the bank. In the juror room there are 2 bathrooms and when the first person went in it got even quieter, like people were listening to hear the poor guy pee. I have a shy bladder, so obviously peeing in that bathroom wasn’t going to happen. Not when people were sitting there listening, but it eventually got much more relaxed and nice…. in a boring way. At one point there was a guy in the girls room, and when he came out I asked “How did you like the ladies lounge area?” of course there wasn’t one so the room laughed. One guy (we’ll call him Guy1) said, “You have a lounge?” which, if he’d looked at the bathroom with it’s door wide open he’d have seen there wasn’t anything but a sink and a toilet. The man that was in there said, “No, it’s just like ours.” and I said, “There’s a couch! You just have to go in there and down the hallway.” and since Guy1 still looked confused everyone pretty much kept laughing at his expense.

Then there was sock and sandals lady. Yes, I understand with it being fall that it’s harder to dress for the whole day. Mornings are chilly, afternoons are warmish, and then the evenings are chilly again. I get it, I really do… but this does not give any woman, or man for that matter, to wear sandals with socks. Now, these weren’t just any socks. No, they were pulled up to her knees…. and then she had on a skirt. When I noticed them I wanted to call my friend Meghan so we could laugh but we weren’t allowed to make phone calls… so I sat and watched her groom her pretty black socks with no one to share the funniness of them with.

Toupee guy sat next to me in the jury box and whenever I was bored I would stare at the hair to try to determine where his actual hair started and where the fake stuff began. It was a saucy little number and it made me smile when ever he would sit down next to me.

On my way back from lunch there was giant guy. I was moving along at a pretty nice clip because I was petrified of being the last juror to show up because I’d witnessed the judge go nutzo on the detective for being 2 minutes late when this giant man stepped in my path. I’d had my eyes on the justice center so it was a pretty big surprise when he moved in my way. I smiled and went to move out of his way when he said, “You’re beautiful.” and then I knew he was crazy so I picked up the pace and said “Thank you!” over my shoulder. I wonder if that crap works on other girls?

Last, but not least, there was the stalker. Or, as my mom called him, “Pervert.” As I walked, and again at a pretty good pace, he would jog a little and get even with me, look at me, and then slow down a little….then jog up again. It was the strangest thing I’d ever seen, and I’d wished I could mace him or something.

Sadly, in the end the case was dismissed because the state hadn’t had the time to prepare and make sure he submitted things he was going to talk about beforehand… like the informant, which would have made the case for him. So now a 21 yr old crack dealer is out on the streets again. Nevermind the fact that he had more than a state court would normally see at 15.3 grams of cocaine, that he’d had it in the front light globe area and that he’d had an electric screw driver sitting there beside him. The state couldn’t prove that he knew the crack was up there. It’s not illegal to have the drugs in your car if you don’t know they’re there.

Yay for the war on drugs!