Have you ever had one of those days where no matter what turn it takes, it just seems to get worse and worse? Well today was that kind of day for me.
This time of year is allergy hay fever season for me, not to mention the cold and flu going around, so I either have allergy problems or I have a cold. I woke up with a horrible headache and stuffed up beyond belief, so I took another allergy pill and went back to bed. When I woke up again at 10am I stumbled out of bed and hobbled down stairs because for some reason my ankle hurt me. I was nursing a cup of tea (and whimpering) when my mom came in with a letter from Bob’s (step father) sister Marylyn. She sat next to me and we were joking about how Bob’s facial reactions were getting worse and worse. When he was finished my mom went over and got the letter so we could make fun of it and read it out loud to me as she went along.
Apparently Marylyn thinks that I’m deleting the emails she sends him (which I wouldn’t), and that we’re keeping him from calling her or something. She said that “since your second marriage” their relationship had gotten worse, the problem with that is that they didn’t have a relationship during Bob’s first marriage either. Infact his first wife thought Marylyn was trying to poison her, for crying out loud.
So Bob calls his brother Dave (Bob’s brother Dave, not mine) because in her letter she says that Dave told her something that makes her hesitant to call the house. This, of course, lit a fire with my mom. So Bob’s on the phone with Dave and says that he’s the only one that uses his computer and Dave says, “What about Ellie’s daughter?” meaning me. Why the hexk would I delete her emails? I mean, what would motivate me in that sort of direction? Seriously, that’s not even on my radar of bad thigns to do. I’d much rather stick to peeing in soap and spitting in coffee.
In the midst of all this crap, Bob’s creepy son Rob shows up to gawk at me and argue with himself. As always we have to take him out to eat, but really it’s a great diet plan for me, considering he chews his food like an animal. Every time I catch a glimpse of him eating, which I try not to do because I don’t like vomitting, I wonder why I didn’t bring a trough for him to eat out of. Seriously. I’m thinking about it. He disgusts me, and I’m pretty sure he knows it because he spends his time glaring at me ever since I “accidently” flicked lemonade on his face 20 times. What? Who? Where? Oh… I didn’t know I was doing that! Whoops!
So now, thanks to that “dirty whore” as my mom calls Marylyn, the rest of us will have to comfort my mom and hear about this horrible letter for days and weeks to come. Days and day!Do you know how many countless times today were I pretended to shoot myself in the head?! Thanks a lot, beotch.