Brandon’s Birthday

Yesterday my parents and I ventured over to Van (my brother) and B-renda’s (the bearded dwarf-in-law) apartment to celebrate Brandon’s (my nephew) birthday. Being the true blue auntie that I am, I decided that I really needed to get him something annoying and possibly harmful (to those around him).

When I stumbled across the water gun section I was baffled at how evil the Super Soaker brand has gotten with them. They even have guns that have a cartridge you put in the freezer so that the water coming out of the gun is freezing. I, however, didn’t think those wussy types were evil enough for my 10 yr old nephew. At his age you have to do a mental checklist before you buy the toy.

  • Is it disgusting?
  • Does it do something annoying?
  • Will mom totally hate it (and you) for giving it to him?

    If you meet at least 2 out of the 3, your toy will be a hit. I had almost lost hope of finding something to piss off B-renda when my eyes grazed over this beauty.


    Super Soaker Oozinater

    Not only does it shoot water but it shoots this snot-like substance amazingly fast and disgustingly far. I wish I’d brought my camera so that you could have seen my nephew Chris, Brandon’s big brother, and the aftermath. Brenda’s face when he opened it was priceless, and her comment of “You can only shoot Chris one time.” was utterly ridiculous… and of course wasn’t obeyed. It was, however, really hilarious to watch and be in the mix of. My mom and I ran around with the boys and had a blast getting that crap all over us. I have a shirt that has some sort of crusty substance on it that will hopefully come out in the wash.

    If you want to have fun, I highly recommend buying your son, nephew, daughter, whomever this water/snot gun.