Oh the Whore-er!

Well, last Saturday I went to B-renda’s bridal shower and as I exited the car with my mother said, “There better not be any stupid bridal shower games at this thing.” knowing full well that there would be. We entered the cave…er house and sat in uncomfortable silence as B-renda’s best friend (who is her clone) fluttered around like a pixie on speed. Now, I’ve harped on B-renda quite a bit, but I actually felt sorry for her hairiness as I took count of only 5 of us present. I remembered right then that when we’d RSVP’ed (on the last day) we had been the first to do so. It doesn’t really surprise me that B-renda doesn’t have many friends. She’s so fake it’s disgusting, and I seem to see red every time she opens her stubble laden mouth.

As the party begun I tried my hardest to act the part of excited sister-in-law to be, but I could only muster up enough fakeness to be a plastic-like happy, and only then when I was forced to be. As the games progressed, I got progressively worse. Wedding related word scramble, Guess the cake game … and then… my most hated… toilet paper bride. You separate into teams, and make a gown out of toilet paper. My mother and the woman on our team were really just trying to get it over with… and I stood there trying not to scream. When the picture taking started, I ripped the TP off with an “Oops!” to which B-renda said, “Jenny! I only got 2 pictures!” I wanted to tell her to shut her man-trap, but I fake laughed instead. I swear, I should get a medal for this crap.

Anyway, the “party” ended without any blood shed, and B-renda lived to see another day. I would post a picture of my TP horror, but I’d rather not remember that day better than I already do. I fully intend on sending her an email to express my dislike for her ASAP because I’m too chicken to say it to her face, plus… my brother could possibly see it, and he needs to.

Don’t worry; I’ll post that puppy here too. I want to remember the euphoric feeling that I’ll undoubtedly get when I write it.