29 is the new 50?

I knew I was aging, but come on people! When did 29 become the new 50? The other day I ventured downstairs and found my mom laughing at me as soon as I made an appearance. I knew I looked bad, but come on, your family is suppose to understand and accept, no?

I arched a brow at her and she said, “You got something very special in the mail yesterday I forgot to give you.” I watched her suspiciously, “What?” She started laughing again as she handed me the envelope that was already opened. She could barely get the words out, “Your AARP card!” My jaw dropped. “Whaa?” I snatched up the envelope to see and sure enough… my AARP card, or the placement holder of it, was attached to a letter explaining that the people of AARP had no records of me signing up for my card and that I was missing out on my benefits.
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To quote, “As a member, you’ll have the resources and information you need to get the most out of life over 50.” Yeah, I’ll show you the resources I have to make your life over 50 a lot more painful.

I’ve decided to send in the form to see what happens. I’m going to be totally honest about my birth date, etc. I just want that form letter to say, “We’re sorry, we had an Alzheimers moment and thought you were our age.”

** Important name and number information is colored out so none of you old people steal my benefits. Get your own dern card!