Fun at the Doctor’s Office

Another day of fun at Kaiser Permanente for Jenny!

I picked up Lisa at 8:30 for her 9:30 doctor’s appointment to have a biopsy of a lump in her breast. When she gets in the car she was breathing heavily and I was worried she might hypervenalite so I tried to keep the conversation light and breezy. She was REALLY nervous.

We get there and, as usual, she’s walking about 7 steps infront of me and can not keep her hand out of her bum crack. Finally I can’t take her constant … digging… and ask, “Hey Lisa, you ok?” I didn’t quite know how to approach the subject of, public place = no touchy the hiney. The fabic of her shorts was a strechy cotton, so the digging has made her look like she’s got more than just itching problems with all the sagging. She says, “Oh yeah, just a wedgie.” Bleh. So I try to drop it and ask her how her week has gone. “It went good. I went to the psychic symposium on monday and the psychic lady healed my breast.” *blink blink* “Oh?” She nodded and now we’re at our destination and getting a seat in the waiting room. She doesn’t lower her voice to talk to only me which isn’t a big deal….yet. “Yesterday I felt an odd sensation in my breast like it was healing itself.” I tried not to roll my eyes. “Well….that sounds interesting.” What do you say to that?

I pull out my book and try to ignore 6 sets of eyes on us but out of the blue my mom shows up, having gotten out of her doctor’s appointment early. She tries to be all light and airy as she enters the room and I’m immediately annoyed for some reason. So she’s talking to Lisa about her appointment and Lisa mentions that she’s only got her pap test to go to next and then she won’t have to worry anymore. My mom tries to reasure her and I see danger lurking before Lisa even gets a word out. Then Lisa pipes up, “Well, they’re worse for me because I still have my hymen because I’m a virgin.” Oh yes, and she seemed to be louder as she mock-whispered this. My mom just smiles and says, “Well, no one likes those.” and then, thank God, Lisa is called in. My mom sits down and continues to talk to the room. “The things she says!” and then she laughs. “You just can’t stop it some times!” I open my book up and bury my face in it.

One hour and 15 minutes later I’m on the same page because I’m so annoyed and Lisa finally emerges.

Doctor’s appointments are fun!