So Tired!

I haven’t posted in a bit because Saturday was the big event.

My friend Meghan’s little angel Elek turned one and his party was at my place. I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off for most of the day before and the morning of trying to make things nice enough to live up to what I’m sure would be my mother’s perfect standards.

I think I was on my feet the entire day from 8:30am – 7pm and when everyone left I crashed out on the couch and fell asleep for an hour. I woke up to some MAJOR foot pain, not to mention leg and arse pain. Just what muscles do you use when you dust, mop, and vacuum anyway? I assume the pain was due to all the standing and no sitting business, but the party was a success (which was the most important thing). Elek made out like a bandit with all the good stuff he got. I can’t imagine what his Christmas will be like with birthday gifts by the truck load!

It took me this long to recover, though. I think I need to exercise or something a party shouldn’t make me feel like I was hit by a truck a couple times, should it?

Ranting! – Pay no attention.

David, go the freak home! Take Derek with you and stop tracking in mud, rust, tar, grease, and other crap that make the white tile grey/tan/orange/etc. When you make coffee, I understand you have a disease that makes it difficult to hold a cup, but here is just a little thought… why not use the hand that works properly? Then, perhaps, the coffee won’t be attracting ants and making sticky spots all over the floor. If this isn’t coffee, I don’t want to know what it is, but please… stop before my fantasies of ripping out all of what’s left of that skullet* you have going there.

You know that animal that barks? Yeah, when you pass by her water dish and it’s empty, you’ve shown you’re quite capable of filling it, yeah I noticed, … could you stop maybe and do so? Yeah and you know how said barker crapped in the house when you were caring for her in my stead? I hear, and maybe this is just plain silly, that taking her outside will stop that. Amazing no?

I know your eyes are glazing over but try to pay attention. Mom doesn’t like when you wash vehicle parts in the sanitary tub, or dishwasher. Come to think of it, when you get tar on your clothes they won’t be “clean” when you wash them in the washer. The tar will still be there because, believe it or not, tar just isn’t water soluble. I know you said it was, but… I wasn’t born yesterday and you’re not as clever as you think you are. You understand that the last time I had to run 4 empty loads with bleach in them just to get the smell out, right?

Oh, and before I forget, the next time you step foot in my room when I’m not home… yes, I know you picked the lock, silly… I will use the key I have to your bedroom called a hammer and …well… I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.

**A skullet is a mullet with a balding front.

Le Divorce

I got the best email today.


I filed the last part of the papers today. I am supposed to call in 4 weeks. And it should be finalized then.

Take care
Colin

Can I get an ohhh yeeeaaahh?!

Heck yeah! The emails telling him he needed to hurry up because he’s bad karma seems to have worked.

What the …?

Guys, this may not be the blog entry for you…I really just had to ask, what the heck is with commercials these days? I seriously think they should stop trying to grab our attention and just advertise their product without being ridiculous.

Now, I know talking about such things is a major “ick” for males.. but this one I just couldn’t hold in any longer. I was relaxing on Keith’s sofa when this commercial from Always came on. I’ve seen it before, and even joked about it with my mother. “Have a happy period.” Dude, that is NOT possible… and is so incredibly laughable I just had to share it.

I went to the Always site to get a picture from the commercial and stumbled across ECARDS! Who in their right mind would send a card to a friend because flo is visiting? Seriously. Not even tweenagers starting out… no not even them.

*snort* Have a happy period indeed.

It should be more like, “Try not to kill your family, friends, and sweethearts.” Or “It’s OK to cry about nothing, we understand.” Or even, “Chocolate is good for you, honey, eat all you need to.” That’d be more realistic, don’t ya think?

…happy period…. hahaha… wow..

Ha-ha-ha…

This was sent via email from Meghan, my partner in crime.

Doh.

So, I’ve been thinking of changing my blog look again. It just amazes me that if I do the template I’ve been working on then I’ll have yet another blonde chick as my blogger pic. The only conclusion I can come up with is that I’ve got blonde envy or some such. Come to think of it… I can’t really think of any close friends or anyone I hang out with that’s blonde. Weird.

I leave again for Maryland on Sunday. Looking after my brother and nephew while my parents aren’t here is just as frustrating as looking after my parents. When my mom calls I suggest she talk with David about his leaving the window open every night and turning on a heater, ruining the curtains and making the front of the house look all ghetto-fab, walking on my freshly washed floors with tar covered shoes, and painting in the garage. What was her reply? “Should I call you tomorrow? Or tonight?”

“……… ”

“Uhh.. tomorrow.” Because I want to shake you really hard right now and I can’t reach you through the phone. Way to give a crap, mumsy.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part. David is asking me about Keith and REALLY talking up how much he REAAAALLLY likes him. Like I don’t see through his crap. Pshh. Keith is really great, but when David makes any polite/nice comments… it’s because he’s buttering me up for something. So he says, commenting on how we flew in together saturday and how Keith flew out on sunday, “So, he just came out to drop you off?” I said, “Well yeah, kinda like that.” He says, “Ooo… he likes you.” I said, “He more than likes me.” To which he starts with, “Where’s the ring?” So I just give him an eye roll. He says, “You know there’s someone that’ll foot the bill, don’t you?” I’m like, “What? Who?”

This is where I really feel the love… and the anger.

Then ask, “You? Not Derek (my nephew)…Van?” He says no to all of those then says, “Bob told me he’d just write a blank check if he’d take you away.” I laugh to mask my intense anger building up, I can’t let David know when he’s gotten to me. So dear old old old old Bob said he’d foot the bill? No problem with that, oh slow witted one, having your florida condo on my finger would be quite rewarding. When I bring it up with my mom she quickly changes the subject. So this is the thanks I get? Vacation time!

Hellllllllllooooooo Keithy!

Yoink

This Saturday was pretty eventful. With the week behind us, Keith and I flew back to my house to help Meghan (my bud from too far back) make t-shirts for her husband’s homecoming from Iraq. They turned out WAY better than I thought they would… which means they were perfect.

Meghan found a kewl font and we took a few pictures and decided on one of Brian’s dog tags and the American flag. You can’t get much more patriotic than that, now can you? Hopefully everyone likes the shirts, and since I did the design work (with everyone pitching in on how things should look) I gave Meghan full permission to say to anyone that doesn’t like them, that I did it. I can deal with the dislike.

So here’s the front..

And here’s the back..

They’re a better yellow than the pictures, but you get the idea. Hopefully I’m not spoiling some surprise by showing them.

So on to the funnier crap! We were running out of ink and Meghan and I ran up to Office Max.

On the way Meghan says, “Hey, wanna take a Cobbledick sign?”
I look at her and shrug, “I donno… you wanna?”
She laughs and says, “Lets do it on the way up to Office Max.”
I’m like, “No… then we’ll be driving by the scene of the crime again!”
She says, “But going this way is much better… we’re on the right side.” So since I get a chicken-like she says, “Ok, at this red light you switch to the driver seat and I’ll get the sign.”
She hops in the back seat and I take off, putting on the hazards so the cars behind us go around. We get all ready and then we can’t find it! “I thought it was here.”
She agrees. “Yeah, I thought it was too..” So I keep driving and then we spot it.
“There it is!” and I stop the car. She hops out, trudges through the leaves piled up on the tree lawn, runs into the yard and has to give the sign 3 big tugs before it finally comes out.
By now cars are passing by and I’m trying to hide my face. She runs back to the car and just as she’s about to get in, she slips and falls a little.

We got the sign though!


And you guys thought I was kidding about this guy running. Ha!

Snowball

On thursday I was in MD with Keith at his house, we were watching a movie and his cat was begging for attention because she was in heat. We let her jump up with us, but her constant female part licking and her putting her rear in our faces quickly made us change our minds. We pushed her down and she went up stairs and into the bedroom and didn’t make another sound. The movie ended and we were dead tired so we were about to head upstairs when I stopped dead in my tracks. I smiled because the cat was laying a way I’d never seen her lay before. “What’s up with little girl?” (little girl being her nickname) and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Keith said, “I donno…” I had my socks in my hand and threw one in her direction, which would normally freak her out because she’s the skittish sort, but she didn’t move a muscle. The light in the hallway was out so we got a flashlight and shined it in her eyes while Keith felt for any signs of life. The poor thing was gone. She’ll be sorely missed and I doubt the image of her will be erased from my memory any time soon.

Much Ado About Nothing

Hello from MD!

I had what had to be the best weekend I’ve had in, I’m pretty sure, forever. Keithy drove out to spend the weekend with me and we just chillaxed and had a good time. Carved pumpkins and made an awesome little graveyard in the side yard with lights and everything. This year all those neighbors that have all that crap in their yard had nothing on my yard! We drove here on tuesday and I’m still smiling… I don’t leave until Friday, and I may be kidnapping him when I go.

Being totally non sequitur, the Blahzvillage city elections are fast approaching and Mr. Cobbledick is actually still in the game. His campaign slogan is “Lobby for Cobby”, isn’t it interesting how he cut out the part of his name that makes him less appealing? I thought so.