Draft Letter

As I mentioned in my last post, I wanted to write a letter to Colin (my ex) because of his shipping me the panties and shaver. After I wrote it I thought maybe I’d wait to send it and let you guys vote on if I should send it or not, or maybe if I should change something, or the wording?

Here’s what I have:

Colin,

I had thought your sending me the things I left behind a great gesture of your maturity, but as I opened each box from the first shipment, and now the second, I wonder if perhaps you had planned on sending me someone elses panties and shaver?

Now I’m a fairly nice person and, as you know, have a great sense of humor and even got a good chuckle out of what has to be a joke! I came to this conclusion when, with the first shipment you sent the panties. Clearly I would never wear or buy the pair placed in there, and have given most of the clothing to the blind in hopes they have vats of harsh cleaners strong enough to get any skank out of them. The panties, however, have been placed where they belong, in the trash. It’s funny how they’ve gone back from whence they came, isn’t it?

I thought the games would be over before I recieved the second shipment, but you fooled me again. Shame on me! Thank you for the irriplaceable baby pictures you thought I could live without, but along with them you sent an electic razor which I have never owned. So I pondered, “Why on earth would he want to do such a thing, when he’s done so much already?” Especially after your “heart felt” words of ever-lasting love and devotion, which would have been better placed when we were married and you were cheating on me. Perhaps you should have thought of that then, no?

Unfortunately your new girlfriend must be mighty mad that you first gave her favorite panties away, and now her electric razor. Tsk tsk. These items will, unfortunately, not be making their way back to her any time soon. The shaver was given to my brother David (for uses I dare not ask), and the panties (as I mentioned before) are headed back to the trash.

I, and the Federation for the Blind, thank you for the other things. With a nice harsh washing they’ll be good as new and ready for a new owner. I just thought perhaps I’d put you out of your misery and let you know where those things disappeared to.

Jenny

So, what do you think? Yes? No? Maybe so? Change something? Take something out? Please let me know what you think.

Oh yeah, and before I forget! Keith told me his co-workers read my blog, and yet I don’t get to read theirs? I think not! Post your links! Don’t make me hunt you down!