Bob the Retard

Happy Birthday, Bob.

Yes, Bob managed to call my mom “the help” today.
So his birthday message is a simple one:

More details about my torture later.


Today was the kind of day where I really wished I’d stayed in bed. Waking up was like I imagined waking up with a hang-over would be like (never having had one). My head felt like it’d been run over by a mac truck, and I just felt….heavy. My nose must have been draining back and down my throat because I felt so nauseous! I took 2 advil and decided to just live with whatever else I had to deal with, it could only get better, right?

I went downstairs, made a cup of tea, and sat at the kitchen table for a few moments to collect my thoughts and try and cope with the pain and grossness I was feeling. My mom was SOOO awake. You know that kind of awake that “morning people” get? When you feel miserable, these people are your enemy. So I wandered back upstairs and sat down to chat on the phone, read emails, … little things. The phone rings and it’s the big b word. Yeah, Brenda. My brother Van’s fiance’. Bob’s birthday is tomorrow and she wanted to know what to get him. Well, I lied and told her my mom wasn’t home (mainly because my mom hates talking to her on the phone) and suggested a few things and got off the phone on the edge of sanity! She had mentioned wanting to see the movie “Monster-in-Law”.

So anyway, I go back down to talk with my mom about the call and my mom is acting kinda funny. After I tell her a few things she comes out with, “Sorry, I’m really upset.” and I ask why and she goes on to explain that Bob has done several things (I won’t go into detail) and she started crying. After comforting her my mind went back to that movie and I said we should go to it. Not wanting to make the big b cry when we told her we went, I called her up and invited her too.

I *finally* got the bracelets Keith sent in the mail!

Tresse supports our troops too!
(Don’t worry pet people, that only stayed on long enough to get the picture!)

He sent one for Meghan too! Don’t worry Meggers, it’s in a nice clean package, no dog hair/slobber included.

Then I had to be by my mother’s side the rest of the day. If I was gone for more than a few minutes she would call me and ask me to do her something. She was feeling especially needy, and I wanted to be there for her…. but it was draining.

After the movie (Monster-in-law) we picked up some things at the grocery store for Bob, since he made sure to make my mom feel guilty about going somewhere without him, and then dinner for all of us. We get home and my mom was unloading the car and I was inside dividing up the dinners from Wendy’s. Bob comes over for the salt shaker. Salt on a Wendy’s burger? How much does he need, for heaven’s sake? Does he want to crunch it!? And I say, “Nono, there’s enough salt on them, Bob!” and take the salt shaker away. He fights me for it eventually (play-like) and I gave up pretty easily. It’s his body, if he wants to have a stroke because he’s an idiot, … that’s his choice. Maybe I should get him a salt-lick for his birthday! So anyway, I say, “I can’t be nice to you tonight, Bob, cause tomorrow’s your birthday and I *have* to be nice to you then.” He says “Ohh… ok.” and laughs. Then my brother David pipes up with, “Welcome to *my* world, Bob.” and laughs. I was laughing on the outside, but it was stinging on the inside.

All my brothers freakin’ hate me. Keith always mentions all these “beatings” he had because of me. And he thinks anything I say is law with my parents. Van makes hurtful comments when I kid about being the favorite. David has a serious problem with the relationship my mom and I have. And I donno about Scott. — What the heck?

I know… lets kick Jenny while she’s down. Ok!